This Is Going A Little Too Far...

Okay, so you've all heard of "Fantasy Football", but I am sure you have never seen it like you do here at our house. Of course you would have to be here between 8am and 3pm to even catch a glimpse.

I have NO idea how it even got started, but once all the kids, except Jesse, headed to school it slowly crept in.

Back in the day, you know like in August, Jesse would come inside from playing alone and tell me all about his "football game" against Casper. (The ghost in Grandpa Paige's attic) In the beginning it was all about who won and sharing players if Jesse or Casper's team were short a player.

This flight of fancy has morphed into an all consuming fixation for my dear 4 year old. All clothes now have to fit into the grid of "football clothes". All new shirts have to "look like football" or even better have a football or football player on them.

I recently found the Dallas Cowboys football costume my grandma gave Jesse years ago. Back then he only wore the helmet b/c the clothes were HUGE on him. They are still a little over sized, but most of Jesse's pants are. (Long legs, no waist and I can't stand pants being too short!)

Jesse's fix for loose pants is to stuff every layer into the waistband and pulling said waistband up to his ribcage. ARGHHHHHH!! Another thing I don't care for is tucked in shirts, shirts tucked into too high waistbands are even worse!! We have reached an uneasy truce. Jesse wears his shirts out in public, but the instant we are headed home IN THE CAR he tucks his layers back in. I even pointed out to him that real football players do not tuck in their jerseys, but he informed me, "My team does".

I digress, back to football madness. Jesse had a fit the other day because he didn't want to wear a coat over his jersey.

(Jesse) "Real football players don't wear coats."

(Mom) "Real football players don't play in cowboy boots, and they wear

their coats under their jerseys."

(Jesse) "I've got a killer arm, my team is working on their killer arms,

the Hawkeyes, (the other team, his is the Giants) don't have killer arms."

(Mom, to self) "Where in the world did he come up with 'Killer Arm'?"

(Mom to Jesse) "Oh, really?!!"

(Jesse)"Micah, (the imaginary football player) not my brother,

is in the hospital. He hurt his leg when I tackled him.

He has to stay for 4 weeks. I talked to him today."

And on and on it goes. At recent family gatherings my brothers have been playing football with the kids. Jesse is on neither Marc or Stephen's teams. Jesse lines up facing Marc in perfect football form, and GROWLES AT HIM! (For those who do not know, Marc is a police officer. Marc is 6'2" and weighs over 200#. Jesse on the other hand is more like 42" and 42#) Ludicrous!!!

Oh, AND when they started to line up the second time Jesse informed Stephen, "Your not doing it right! You have to call the plays." So, Stephen called a 2o, Jesse said," No, a 42." (They had no play book, let a lone plays in it!)

All this goes to show the prevailing power of nature over nurture. One would suppose from all Jesse's enthusiasm and expertise we are avid connoisseurs of football. But NO, we do not watch ANY football. We can't. We don't have a TV!!! We watch movies on a computer screen.

Don doesn't follow ANY sports. I am baffled! And of all our kids, the most breakable one is the one to "heart" football. Usta!! I am just hoping if I let it run it's course now he'll grow out of it. If I have to, in years to come, I will pull out the "big guns" and note that his OI specialist, and his great grandpa strongly discourage it.

I'll post pictures later, but right now I can't locate my camera.